[well, he changed out of his costume, for one. otherwise he drops the smile and seems to be putting his shirt back on. it's more of an aura than an action that gives him away. his usual easy grace that implies that nothing can quite touch him has disappeared, like he's all but been grounded into the earth.
it steals any trace of a smile from his face up until he actually makes eye contact with chuuya - and then he attempts one. it's a good replica of his genuine smile, though it lacks a bit of light]
Mm, thank you.
[a beat]
He's gone, isn't he? To where um... Polly and Carlos are.
[hiza said that he won't believe that dimitri is truly gone until they get confirmation
higekiri asks a lot of questions that are doomed to be censored. he knows that. he knows it well. and plenty of times, he's taken it in stride because it's not chuuya's fault. even now, it's not chuuya's fault.
and yet - this is the first time that he feels this emotion.
disappointment.
his expression wears it obviously - the pain, the fall, the fact that he can't rest without the confirmation - but his mouth says]
... mm, that's okay.
[it's not. but still he'll lean down to press a kiss to chuuya's cheek.]
[he knows it's not his fault too, that he could try to force an answer out and higekiri would never be able to hear it-- but seeing that look on his face still makes chuuya feel like he's failed. the times people have gotten angry with him for it, the times they've looked down on those restrictions... those he could deal with.
this time it stings, even though he has no opinion on the person higekiri clearly cares enough about to seek out. he reaches up to run his fingers through hige's hair in a familiar gesture, but like higekiri's smile before, there's something a little lacking in it.]
[even now, he leans into the touch. follows after the pattern they've set, chases after the touch and the bits of affection. it doesn't do much for the feeling in his chest, but it helps.
up until he moves to press their lips together instead, because that is also habit - and he worries over the way that chuuya reacts. he must not have been very convincing. what a failing of a treasure.]
[he blinks at that... pauses as if considering something... then breathes out a sigh that almost sounds like a laugh.]
Well. You got ahead of me, anyway.
[but, business-]
The thing is, I can't do something for you that someone else has the capability to do. He can already be protected... but you've only found one way he can be. [a soft hum, and:] I can give you a hint in exchange, too. Keep looking, but don't bother searching in the kitchen.
[....and then he wrinkles his nose, slightly.]
I know it's not as much as you wanted, but-- this is how I can help you help him.
[he nods. it's hard to say if he feels better, but the mission distracts him enough from his struggles. he'll just go to sit on the arm of chuuya's chair again]
Someone who lacks the ability to cook? Mm... I will speak with both Her Lordship and Wukiri then.
Does another possess the ability to be awake even on Thursdays then, if I cannot ask for something like that either?
w3, wednesday
...hey. Come in, make yourself comfortable.
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it steals any trace of a smile from his face up until he actually makes eye contact with chuuya - and then he attempts one. it's a good replica of his genuine smile, though it lacks a bit of light]
Mm, thank you.
[a beat]
He's gone, isn't he? To where um... Polly and Carlos are.
[hiza said that he won't believe that dimitri is truly gone until they get confirmation
so hige wants that first]
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he doesn't quite manage to give higekiri a smile back, just... shaking his head slightly.]
...I can't tell you that, Higekiri. I'm sorry.
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higekiri asks a lot of questions that are doomed to be censored. he knows that. he knows it well. and plenty of times, he's taken it in stride because it's not chuuya's fault. even now, it's not chuuya's fault.
and yet - this is the first time that he feels this emotion.
disappointment.
his expression wears it obviously - the pain, the fall, the fact that he can't rest without the confirmation - but his mouth says]
... mm, that's okay.
[it's not. but still he'll lean down to press a kiss to chuuya's cheek.]
I just might not be able to stay very long today.
[because that means
he has to keep looking]
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this time it stings, even though he has no opinion on the person higekiri clearly cares enough about to seek out. he reaches up to run his fingers through hige's hair in a familiar gesture, but like higekiri's smile before, there's something a little lacking in it.]
Yeah. I know.
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up until he moves to press their lips together instead, because that is also habit - and he worries over the way that chuuya reacts. he must not have been very convincing. what a failing of a treasure.]
... I know you always try to give what you can.
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so he exhales a breath, presses another kiss to higekiri's lips, a silent acknowledgement.]
If you finished that task I gave you, I can try to give you more. It might not be what you were expecting, but it's-- still something.
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Nikori and my other brother, Grune, both possess roles.
[he's been busy which i hate]
Whatever it is... I'll take it.
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[he blinks at that... pauses as if considering something... then breathes out a sigh that almost sounds like a laugh.]
Well. You got ahead of me, anyway.
[but, business-]
The thing is, I can't do something for you that someone else has the capability to do. He can already be protected... but you've only found one way he can be. [a soft hum, and:] I can give you a hint in exchange, too. Keep looking, but don't bother searching in the kitchen.
[....and then he wrinkles his nose, slightly.]
I know it's not as much as you wanted, but-- this is how I can help you help him.
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thanks
he hates it.
if nothing else, it gives higekiri something to focus on.]
... If I keep looking, is it somewhere that I already have access to? Or is it someplace that is yet available to me?
Some... person?
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[he's not sure how direct he can be but he is
making an effort.]
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[he nods. it's hard to say if he feels better, but the mission distracts him enough from his struggles. he'll just go to sit on the arm of chuuya's chair again]
Someone who lacks the ability to cook? Mm... I will speak with both Her Lordship and Wukiri then.
Does another possess the ability to be awake even on Thursdays then, if I cannot ask for something like that either?
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[he sighs, at that-- but he still wraps an arm around higekiri when he perches close. the affection seemed like it might have helped, earlier.]
I should probably tell you, though-- you don't have to keep sleeping with me. I think I'm as capable as I'm going to be of helping you all, by now.
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Oh...?
[ . . . ]
Hmm, well, I'll still come by each day, and what happens can happen.
[it's a little funny - he remembers chuuya asking him this before, if higekiri would still keep coming to see him even if he didn't have to.
he figures he might as well stick to his word.]