doublesmall | [INBOX] fractura.

Aw, I'm practically swooning, Chuu.

[he is not

but also:]

I wouldn't mind a crumb of that was important enough to pull you even from me, though.

[ :^) ]

Depends-- like I said, I've been busy. Remind me just when you're talking about.

[thanks he already hates this.]

[Well.

Baren hums thoughtfully at that, retrieving his smoking pipe from where he normally keeps it hidden on his person, lighting a match to start up a smoke, like he has to consider this.

But.]

Busy enough that you can't remember standing me up, but it had to be a matter important enough for you to actually neglect meeting up with me - which has only happened once in the past while. A little contradictory, isn't it?

If you're gonna play dumb, at least commit to a certain level of priority. Or else it'll just make you sound wishy-washy, Chuu.

[a bit of helpful advice and then he'll leave a look at chuuya, swapping to all business-

(for a certain definition of business, when baren even started up this informant gig because he couldn't turn off his heart no matter how badly he wanted to)]

Pretty sure you know exactly what night I'm talking about, and if that trade isn't on the table, you ought to say so.

Playing dumb isn't the same as wanting you to come out and say it.

[he knows exactly what night baren's talking about, yes- but that's not the kind of topic he'll say anything about if it could possibly be construed as something else. chuuya doesn't expect baren to do this to him, but he's not in the habit of offering up information otherwise, in the event that anyone tries to claim starting there means he does know more than he'll admit to.

eventually, though, he exhales a sigh, shaking his head.]

I had emergency meetings I got dragged into, you know I can't tell you anything more than that. Private business.

[ . . . . he exhales, and watches the smoke trail upward. even if ultimately - ]

... Mm. I had a feeling you'd say that.

Then let's make this private business.

[and like a magic trick - the lock he's been playing with all day shows up in his hand. it's nondescript, doesn't seem to have much aside from a short inscription of poetry: "before the tide covers everything we have done".

he lets the hook of it rest around his finger, and lets it go around in the loop, twirling it about.]

I have one question, you answer honestly, I won't tell a soul.

[baren avoids even pinky promises -

precisely because he hates to break his word when he truly gives it]

[chuuya blinks at that-- the lock is unexpected, as is its inscription, and it's not that his face is hard to read so much as it doesn't seem to be able to settle on a particular expression.

there's a long stretch of silence before chuuya says anything else, just watching baren twirl that lock around his finger.]

You know that's asking a lot without telling me the question first, Baren.

[how much he trusts baren is forever a question he's asking himself-- but he's never acted against them. hasn't acted against chuuya, hasn't leaked any of the things he's been able to find out (to chuuya's knowledge.)

he's still not on their side. but chuuya will at least hear him out, with all the history they have.]

-fine. Ask it.

Mm, I know.

[Baren always asks a lot - always always always. He asks for hatred from the people who will never be able to bring themselves to do it, he asks for answers for incredibly personal questions without hesitation, he asks for trust when he's in the business of selling information.

He catches the lock in his hand and then just lets it hook against the grate of the bridge, not yet twisting and clicking into place, just hovering.

And then - ]

Did you think I'd hate you once I figured out what you did?

[It's an out, in a way.

He won't clarify what he figured out, exactly - but for the same reasons why they both felt like meeting up tonight, he has a feeling that Chuuya knows.

It's just something they feel.]

You should've had plenty of reason to hate me from the start, mister bodyguard.

[and, well, chuuya should have too, because he knew baren wasn't one of their own. he'd be lying to himself if he said that ever spending time with baren wasn't a mistake, logically speaking.

he's not the most logical mind, though, and the heart never is. baren isn't an enemy anymore. he can try to excuse it all with that, when he needs to.]

Didn't you think you'd owe other people some answers, if you had them?

I would if things didn't change.

[if he hadn't left the family - he'd owe his everything to them. every single fiber of his being would be dedicated to the extended strength and fortitude of the xian le family, and if it ever failed, he would go down with it.

but that's not the case anymore, and baren will just continue to meet chuuya's gaze]

But I like to think for myself now.

[a lie - because baren will think about everyone but himself, but it's easier to admit to one than the other.]

Some facts would still put you in an uncomfortable position, if you had them.

[which is the real answer to baren's question. no, chuuya didn't think that he would hate him, though he didn't especially want to know his reaction either-

-but more than that, he wanted to avoid the position it would put baren in, to have told him. the position it would put them both in, if he shared that kind of thing too easily and too directly.

a part of it was still the underlying paranoia, but it wasn't fully a lack of trust.]

[ . . . mm, that's enough. Baren seems to watch Chuuya for a moment longer, extending a beat - and then there it is.

The metallic click of the lock slotting into place against the metal of the bridge, keeping the secret between them.

Maybe it's not what this bridge was meant for. Maybe it was meant for some things that were more wide-eyed and idealistic - but as much as Baren likes those things in concept, in theory, he knows that they're just a little bit too sincere for him. As he is now, he'd never be able to make a promise like that.

This is fine though.]

You've been putting me in uncomfortable positions for the past few years - what's one more?

[An easy, flirtatious remark that doesn't carry much with it. Probably.

But he'll stuff his hands in his pockets and move to walk off the bridge.]

C'mon, it's gonna rain and my hair can't survive that.

Tch, you say that like you haven't done the same thing.

[he says it just as easily, trailing after baren-- though his steps are a little slower, and if baren glances back to see why he's not quite keeping up yet he'll find that chuuya's paused just long enough to reach out and touch that lock. his fingers graze the metal, idly tracing the words on it, before he hastens his steps to keep baren's pace.]

You know, some days I think if we left you out in the rain you'd just melt, the way you act about it sometimes. Maybe I ought to lock you out instead of sharing a room, find out what happens.

Then I'll find another room for the night and only one of us wins.

[HE'S JUST GOING TO SAY IT - as much as he likes Chuuya, there's not like there's any promise to be exclusive. It's already precarious enough that people know they get along, Baren knows perfectly well that for the both of them it's better if they don't take whatever it is that they're doing any more seriously than they already are.]

Are you saying you enjoy being damp? I'm gonna wake up one morning and you're gonna be 75% frizz.

[he'll reach out to tug at the ends of chuuya's hair at that]

I'd find a way to leave you out there.

[he knows there's no promise, though at the same time he dislikes being reminded of it. it's just something he's casually aware of while he studiously ignores the fact that baren might also be sharing rooms with anyone else he wants to. it's fine! he is completely fine with this.

god he's going to want to stab jiang cheng once he hears the most recent stupid rumor.

chuuya makes a face as his hair's tugged at, though, adjusting his hat.]

Are you implying I don't take care of it? I have an image, you know, I have to look decent... I'm not going to show up to meetings looking like a small animal nested on my damn head.

[i can't believe jiang cheng is paying for baren being a slut

anyway,]

I'm saying weather hates good hair! And your hair is like - okay. Ish. So it'll make your hair even worse if you just go out in the rain carelessly.

[he says this but baren has also stayed out in the rain for missions before, he's just acting up now]

Anyway, what do you want from me in exchange for what I got tonight?

Just okay, huh...

[chuuya HUFFS, because he knows he has good hair, thank you very fucking much. the style is just a little unfortunate.

he's quiet for several moments, though, contemplating that question.]

I know we're both probably fucking tired, but- let's get a room. That place that's easy to sneak out of, with the big bathtubs.

[baren is just going to pause at that momentarily - before he just breathes out a noise that's a close relative to a laugh, and ducks so that he can press a kiss to the corner of chuuya's mouth]

Yeah, I know the one.

Maybe we can do something about your subpar hair.

[IT KEEPS GETTING DOWNGRADED]

Subpar?

[Chuuya rolls his eyes, nudging Baren with his elbow. No return kisses!!]

If it's so terrible, I might as well just cut it all short again.

[He did this once when he was younger and it did Not look good.]

[a beat]

How short are we talking?

[even as baren opens the door to the inn - it's discreet enough that they at least won't be the talk of the town. once baren gets the keys to a room, not even missing a beat, he'll glance back over to chuuya]

You could always just let me do your hair. I bet I could fix it up waaaaay better.

[INBOX] fractura.

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