[PCs] team trust no bitch aka team hat aka chuuya & caren

[doublesmall]

[but is it really team hat if only caren has one, though? that's the real question here.

threads in comments!

(there is age difference ship content here but nothing nsfw)]

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[sexorcism]

That is precisely why.

If you were caught and I survived, the rewards would be none. I would not have helped at all.

[The conviction is deeply embedded in her voice.]

[doublesmall]

But you'd still be here. That's-- you'd really sacrifice yourself that way?

[he can tell from the conviction that she would.

fuck.

chuuya vaguely recalls telling someone that self-sacrifice as an ideal was for people without strength. it's giving up instead of fighting on.

but he's not sure what else to call that certainty in her tone, but strength.]

[sexorcism]

In this scenario, you would be helped by getting those rewards, so yes. You may not believe it, Chuuya [just chuuya], but doing good for others has always been a desire of mine.

Just think of what could be done with the information you plan on asking for? Besides that, at the time, Assassin did not have a partner, and -

[Does she owe that to Eleanor? Does she really feel that way? Either way, he could have died, too, and there was something Caren might have done to actively prevent it.]

[doublesmall]

[he can see the reason in it, and he hates it. hates this game for making it make sense. it's just like home in a way, right? sacrificing certain pieces for more powerful ones. more strategic ones.

it's the logical thing to do, but right now, chuuya wants to throw logic out the window. he shakes his head and takes hold of caren's shoulders.]

I'd rather have someone here I can trust than the information, alright? We're partners. You're more important than what we'd get out of it.

...if it was what you really wanted, I'd respect your wishes, but I'd fucking hate letting it happen.

[sexorcism]

[It surprises her, again, and for the second time since they started talking tonight she looks a little shocked.

She wishes she could tell him about turning and descending the crystal staircase instead of proceeding the rest of the short way, about turning back because there was no one else who could help the woman left behind of earth. Is this the reverse of that, somehow - disappearing instead of staying to do the most good?

Then she covers one of Chuuya's hands on her shoulders with one of her own.]

Sometimes, the options are only one or nothing. If it comes to that, I'll make sure it is the only option we have left.

[doublesmall]

[when she covers his hand, it tenses slightly at her touch, but then relaxes; like her, he isn't used to these gestures.

he thinks he might not mind them, though, and he impulsively reaches out to brush her hair from her face.]

Promise me. Alright? Promise you won't do anything like that unless there's no other choice. I'll leave it up to you.

[sexorcism]

[She's about to apologize, but stops short when he brushes her hair away. Some of that raw energy from the trial is leaving her now, but her voice is still thawed.]

You have my word.

... What do you want out of this partnership, Chuuya? [It doesn't sound like an accusation.]

[doublesmall]

[chuuya. just chuuya. he almost missed the first time she dropped his full name; this makes it more than just a spur of the moment thing. with both that and the promise--

a small smile pulls at the corners of his mouth.]

What do I want...? Well, mostly I wanted you to stop calling me Chuuya Nakahara.

[he's teasing, though, and he does sound more serious when he speaks again.]

I wanted someone I could trust. Who knew what I was and wouldn't keep their distance for it. Someone who understood we might have to take more drastic measures to get anywhere, here.

... what I want in a partnership is just-- to be able to put my life in someone's hands without having to wonder what they'll do with it.

[sexorcism]

[She scowls at first when he points out that definitely accidental, and not at all a conscious choice because they feel closer now, use of his given name alone.

The scowl goes away quickly after that, though, and she takes the rest of what he has to say seriously. When he's finished speaking, she offers her hand, as if to shake in agreement.]

All right. I won't throw that life away.

[doublesmall]

And I'll protect yours.

... I want both of us to make it to the end of this, Caren.

[he starts to take the hand she offers, but... a thought occurs to him, then. it just seems like the sort of promise that ought to be sealed with more than this.]

Hey. If you're all right with it...

[do you know how bad I want to end our suffering here? but fucking no, because chuuya, I guess.

what he actually does is he turns her hand palm up and pulls out the knife.]

[sexorcism]

[They might not. They're likely not to. Max's words about his own partner, how tragic they had seemed, already worry her. How many of them can even live? It's impossible to tell. By Caren wants it, too, with whatever meaning her life has without its faith.]

Hm? [Eyes a little wide, she glances down at her exposed palm.]

I see. You are proposing some sort of blood oath.

[doublesmall]

Only if you don't object.

[he's not going to just do it anyway, it defeats the entire purpose?

so he waits for caren's confirmation or rejection, blade held ready.]

[sexorcism]

...

That's fine.

[She rolls up her sleeve a little bit to avoid blood spatters.

Getting accused for a murder she actually didn't commit or assist with isn't in her plans for survival, and it shouldn't be in his.]

self-injury here

[doublesmall]

[he does the same with his own sleeve, pulling it out of the way before he reaches out to draw the blade of the knife first across her palm, and then his own; with both lines bleeding, he clasps her hand tightly in his, wincing slightly at the sting.

there's no need to say anything over it. they already know what this is for.

chuuya doesn't heal them immediately, either, letting that contact linger before he releases their red-smeared hands.]

[sexorcism]

[Technically he'd only gotten the promise from her, but Caren doesn't feel the need to get him to say it out loud, like she'd be trying to avoid some loophole. It just isn't necessary.

She flinches, too, as the feeling of wound on wound between their clasped hands chafes the cut. It's no worse than stigmata, but even then... She hisses a little through her teeth as she gives him a final squeeze before they let go, not entirely unpleasantly.]

[doublesmall]

...there. Even if one of us gets erased-- we'll still have this, whether we have to make a pact with someone else or not.

[they'll be bound to each other first.

chuuya's own cut heals quickly enough, hand glowing faintly; he reaches out for hers, then, intending to do the same.]

[sexorcism]

[Before she returns her hand to his to be healed, Caren looks down at the open wound, still trickling a little blood just visible through the red mess already there.]

Is it the same if it heals immediately, I wonder...?

[It's odd to think of its quick disappearance in tandem with its lasting importance, and the erasure of pain before it can cause more pain is still strange to her.]

[doublesmall]

Hah-? .... well, I guess you have a point there.

[if she's keeping hers then sure, let him just. take the knife and open his own palm back up? it's got their mingled blood on it, it's still good.]

You think it'll leave a mark if we wait long enough?

[sexorcism]

[Caren turns to the side and looks back at him, a little curiously, as if examining him.]

It might; the wound is shallow but we could see how long it takes for an injury to leave behind a mark.

[It won't matter either way. She doesn't need to see this cut, at least, to know that it's still there.]

You'd cut yourself again that quickly just because of something I said. There wasn't any need to follow my lead.

[She almost touches his face - with her bloody palm - then reconsiders and brings her hand back close again.]

[doublesmall]

Let's find out, then. It'll be a good test for the psych.

[that, and he's the type to like having proof of things, in one way or another. he doesn't need it for this, but it wouldn't be an unwelcome reminder, honestly.

he's only kept the sheep heavenly outfit as proof that he still had his old clothes, so excuse him while he just tears the pink shirt into strips of fabric, winding some around his palm before taking her hand and doing the same. they can ditch this stuff before they leave the area.]

And besides-- you were right, I already said that. I've just gotten used to healing everything immediately here, I didn't think to leave it.

[sexorcism]

...All right. [Caren flexes her hand, testing the bandages as a far thin lines of red appear on the pink.] This makes it feel realer. We will reexamine things a little later.

[After examining the torn-up pastel abomination of a shirt a while longer and remembering the pile of bloody ashes their clothes later became, Caren follows that up.] I still believe you owe me a new dress.

[doublesmall]

-shit, I do, don't I? We'll have to make one more shopping trip before the week's up. Who knows what we're going to get next time...

[gotta get clothes while the #aesthetic is good!!

chuuya pauses for a moment there, looking her over, before he asks-]

How're you feeling, after today?

[sexorcism]

There isn't anything you have to worry about; please don't trouble yourself asking after me.

[It's a default answer, and Caren seems to recognize this, her gaze sheepishly darting elsewhere.]

I am quite tired. I thought I would be afraid, but I do not even think the opportunity crossed my mind.

[But if the end comes and she was truly wrong about Madara, Caren is prepared to repent for that.]

[doublesmall]

Yeah, adrenaline will do that. Keeps you going so you're fine while everything is happening, then you feel like you could just pass out.

[the small, almost tired grin he gives her says that he's beginning to feel it, too, now that things are calmer.]

We'll have to keep going for a little while tonight, but we can rest after that.

...no regrets?

[sexorcism]

Yes, I am familiar with the feeling, though never quite in a situation like this.

[There are plenty of people to check in with, and she knows the exhaustion they show them will have to be normal tiredness and not anything more severe than that. Caren lingers for a moment, regaining her composure, and then she draws herself up tall.]

I am not sure. For now, I have no way to answer for the mistakes, so I'll have to say...I cannot regret it.