doublesmall | [PCs] team trust no bitch aka team hat aka chuuya & caren

So you adapted to survive. You know, that is an admirable trait regardless of where it led you.

[She notices the smile come and go, and that's what finally makes her turn to face him completely. It's her turn to smile, then, the closest she'll probably come to offering spoken reassurances.]

Well, normally I would make you answer for being a criminal; however... you preempted that, didn't you?

I'll answer for it when we win and I get my memories back. Will that work?

[that gets him to grin back at her, slow and lazy.]

Hah, but you'll get your faith back too, right? Maybe the Composer isn't the judge I need to be worried about...

[When - if - when - they win, what person will she become? Caren cannot reconcile this existence with an existence of faith and, even more than that, cannot imagine what belief would even feel like in this undead body of hers. She can't imagine reabsorbing faith and suddenly feeling regrets, but she does wish it would give her an answer: Why, even now, does she want to save more people than is possible?

She puts those thoughts aside and draws her legs up onto the cushion with them, glancing at the song selection just to keep them from being kicked out.]

That's all right. You'd best start practicing repentance now, or you'll suffer when the time comes. I can't condemn or clear you, but I can dole out punishment.

I don't think that's something I can really practice by myself, though. It's not like I've ever really repented for much.

[he's had regrets, and he's made mistakes that he's had to make up for-- but that isn't quite the same, is it?

chuuya pulls her a little closer, encouraging her to lean on him. they've worked closely together for a few weeks now, it's easier to tell when something's been on her mind.]

But I'd accept punishment if it was from you, I guess.

You're incorrigible. [But she goes easily, letting him pull her down against his shoulder. After a thought, she reaches up to hold the hand on her shoulder, loosely linking their fingers together.]

Perhaps I am mistaken, but you aren't supposed to ask for punishment. [Forgiveness, maybe, but a man who asks for punishment is certainly more of a spectacle.]

It's more straightforward, right? Pretty sure there's no forgiving the shit I've gotten up to, but I've always known that.

[he grips her hand, squeezing it lightly before going back to that loose hold, his head resting against hers.]

I'll admit I'm more used to being the one doing the punishing, though.

That might be true, but you just keep moving forward. [And that's what seems important: the act of finding something meaningful, still, even when a certain outcome seems hopefully.

She looks up at Chuuya through her lashes, a little sleepy-eyed.]

You can only punish transgressions, and you haven't accused me of anything, yet. Try again later.

I'm sure I could find something to accuse you of. Taunting me like that, for one thing.

[he's taking her hand and counting things off on her fingers, as he goes.]

Always provoking me into things. Being a tease. Enjoying all of the above, probably.

I don't know what it means to enjoy things.

[She forcefully lowers one of her fingers despite him counting it off.]

Regardless, taunting and teasing are practically the same thing. I thought I had partnered with someone far less sensitive, a real criminal.

No? You sounded like you enjoyed yourself earlier... the other night, too.

[chuuya don't be a little shit.

he shakes his head, laughing under his breath.]

I thought getting rid of two people should be enough to be a 'real criminal', but you've got high standards, don't you.

Was I that convincing? You're certainly easy to please.

[She still hasn't taken her hand back, but Caren closes her eyes, letting her body relax.]

No, I think you are a criminal. And so would most of the people here, if you asked.

[But she is technically the same kind of sinner, now, and his company brings her...some positive feelings, for a chance meeting that will only last a few more weeks.]

Probably, yeah. I know some of them have picked up on it.

[ffffucking izaya. he huffs out a breath, shaking his head as he picks up the song list, careful not to disturb her. they'll get kicked out if they don't keep it up every so often, so he's just idly paging through to find something.]

But that's why I don't really plan on asking any of them what they think of me.

[She really has to commend fuckinnnnng Izaya for being so despicable in his machinations. It’s truly interesting, albeit much better to observe than be a target of. For a while, she doesn’t speak or move or open her eyes, just listening to the turn of the pages and trying to predict which song he’ll land on.]

Even me; I’m sure you’d flinch to know what I really think.

If I said something like, ‘I am glad to have met you,’ you’d probably die of disbelief.

[-well, he doesn't die of disbelief at the implication there, but his eyes do widen a bit as he glances over. she's right; it isn't something he expects from her.

it brings a small, genuinely pleased grin to his face anyway.]

Hah... and if I said that I was too, would you say I'm just lying? I am pretty terrible.

[chuuya tugs her hand a little closer, head tilted to press a little kiss to the back of it.]

Or would you just think I wanted something from you?

Normally, I'd be inclined not to trust a criminal. But as a special favor to you, I'll take your word for it.

[Well, she never said that it was how she really felt, just that it would startle him. Therefore she's absolved of all responsibility for it.

Caren finally lets one eye open, turning just a little bit so the flatness of her voice and gaze had their typical effect.]

It's all right if you do, you know. I've already told you that doesn't matter to me.

Yeah, yeah, I know that.

[he hums to himself for a moment, considering-- then sets the songlist down for a moment.]

I guess there is something I want, though, now that I think about it.

Again already?

Not like that!

[he huffs as he runs his fingers through her hair-- then draws his knife and abruptly cuts off a lock of it. it's at least somewhere easy to cover, and it's not much, but he definitely is just fucking doing it.

and then he's just fiddling with his jacket, checking the ties on it and finally slicing off a thin strip of fabric that's about the same length.

yeah he's just braiding them together after that like nothing happened.]

[And it does end up surprising her, so, strangely enough, they're both even now.

Caren sits up, leaving his shoulder, when she hears the tear of metal through hair, and she watches him cut cloth from his jacket, only raising a single dry question when he starts to weave the two pieces together.]

Do you need some sort of assistance?

I don't need it, no, but if you want to help...

[he wouldn't tell her no, naturally.

he's not exactly the best at this braiding thing.]

That wasn't what I meant. [He probably knows that.

It's much more fun to watch him struggle, anyway, so she doesn't try to stop him fiddling with it.]

Is that all you wanted? I can't say I really understand it.

We've both got the scars, but then you have the necklace too, you know?

[he's not looking up, focusing on his work.]

So now we both have something sort of like that.

[the scar is still the more important symbol, but it's nice to have another physical reminder.]

What a relief. I thought you were going to tell me you needed something to help yourself masturbate.

[This time, she's probably needling to cover up for the sudden burning blush across her upper cheeks, to keep herself from protesting that the necklace is worth much more than a random lock of hair.]

... But it turns out you just wanted some sentimental trinket. Will that really make you feel better?

Wh-- oh, come on, I'm not like that!

[also how fucking weird would it be to get off to that? nah. no thank you.

the sight of that blush makes him laugh quietly, though; it always feels like a bit of a victory to get reactions like that from her, honestly.]

But yeah, I think it will. Guess I'm a little more of the sentimental type after all.

[She chuckles, not even minding so much anymore that he caught her off guard.]

Then you had better take care of it. That's something of mine, after all, quite literally a piece of myself in your hands.

[PCs] team trust no bitch aka team hat aka chuuya & caren

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cw caren

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